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| Kayleigh showing off how few M&M's are left!!!! >30! |
I really am worried about starting school. I know it's not that big of a deal. It's only three classes. I've done much more. A lot of people do full time school, parent and work full time. I really give them props because that is a lot of stuff on your plate! I'm worried about letting other things slide. When I go to school, something has to give. Usually it's my gym time and healthy eating. That is one thing that I don't want to slide. I've worked so hard to get to where I am right now. I don't want it to go back to what it was. I am really going to have to work to find a balance. I want to be able to still do as much with the kids and do things for myself. When Nate gets here maybe we can study together and call that quality time ;) At least for his first month or so home. Then he'll probably start playing video games again ;)
On the up side, I had my first f2f accounting class today. I never found anyone to watch the kids. The three people I set up interviews with, bailed. At that point I was like, Fuck it!!! I'll just have to ask one of the neighbors. Both Debbie and Stacey had offered at one point or another. So I decided to use Stacey. Our kids are closer in age and that makes it easier. And I won't feel like I owe her anything if she does it. So I took the kids over there and a crockpot full of chili. And everything went fine. Before you ask, I volunteered to make dinner for everyone. It will be easy dinners, soups, sandwhiches etc. But still dinners. I will have to eat before I go. But the kids eating at 430, RIGHT after school and homework isn't going to happen. They're slow eaters. It won't work. So I am taking food over. It will make it easy on everyone, including me.
Class went well. We got a late start because the classroom was being used for FTAC. But once they got out of there it went well. The class only has 300 points!!! Which is AMAZING! Two, 100 point tests. And homework is worth a total of 100 points. No papers, woo hoo!! Best part of it is, the tests are TAKE HOME!!!! Yep, Mr Crockett (the teacher) said that he doesn't believe in the traditional tests for accounting. It's silly because in real life if you are going to work on a project you will talk to your associates, get help from people, look in your books and even google. So it's unrealistic to ask students to know everything when professionals still look stuff up. I do think that means the tests will be difficult. But with my book, good notes and the power of google I can ace anything! Bonus number two, we are not having class on Wednesday! He is the head guy at Bean's Cafe (the local soup kitchen) and they are having a board meeting Wednesday night. So that means no class Wednesday or Monday (Martin Luther King day). So I have to use Stacey less than I thought I would. Which makes me happy. I really don't like asking people to do things for me. It just makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, this means I will only have to go to SIX more classes until Nate is home and can take care of everything. Which will totally take a HUGE weight off my shoulders. I really can't wait. It's going to be hard. And once he goes back to work, Monday's and Wednesday's will suck. It will be hi, love you, bye! But it is for the best, I NEED to get this done! And it's only a few months. Anyway, now I need to go start reading the three chapters I have to have done by next class and the start figuring out my plan of attack for my other two classes. good night!
I want to start by saying I'm sorry for the pissy mood I was in this morning. I don't want to make excuses, but I think this studying thing is really getting to me. I stay up to 11p on the study nights. The next night I try to go to bed before 9p. That way sleep gets balanced out a little until the weekend when I can catch up on sleep and still be able to stay up late studying.
ReplyDeleteAs frustrated as I was this morning, my day ended up being more frustrating. It actually turned out good for 90% of the day... until the end. Our Chief might be making us (the ones leaving between the 7th and 9th) work through the exercise. It's completely BS and if he does I really won't give two shits about anything going on during it. My only saving grace is that I final out during the exercise. On top of that I test during the exercise. It's like a double whammy. So while he is trying to push that crap down on us, there still is light at the end of the tunnel. Still it's extremely frustrating.
So frustration turned into me questioning myself about our relationship. NOT IN A BAD WAY! I started wondering why you put up with all my crap all the time? That made me wonder what I'm doing all the time to where I can't do the simple things you ask me to. I realize that for one year, I have done almost everything you have asked of me, but what about the years before and the years to come? What is going to keep you going strong? Are you just going get into a funk like this is the best I will ever get? Are you going to settle because we have vested so much time into this marriage? Like I said, this is nothing bad against you or our relationship. This is just stuff that has been going through my head since we had our discussion this past weekend. To top it all off. And I guess what really started this whole self-realization; I remember you asked me to think of three things this weekend. Not like over the weekend, but like something planned out with thought and foresight. I want to say it was dates, but for the life of me, I honestly cannot remember. It pissed me off because I know I paid attention to you when you asked me to do this. I even remembered going online for ideas. BUT, I still can't remember what it was you asked me to do. I'm sure when you read this you will be pissed off at me. Hell, I'm pissed off at me.
Well, I guess I'm going to throw this day up as an epic FAIL! Bad, to good, to bad, to worse. Somehow, someway, I'm going to make this up to you. For now, I should probably get going to bed. I will talk with you in the morning... if you aren't too pissed to talk with me. I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY ONE, MY ONLY! YOU ARE THE ONE I AM COMPLETELY DEVOTED TO FOR ETERNITY! I LOVE YOU BABY!