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Last night Nate wrote a comment on my blog.  It made me happy, but it also made me want a hug.  It made me long for that physical touch that can only come from a man.  My kids could not fill that need.  And I found myself thinking, for about 10 seconds, that I wish I could be a cheating whore. It would be easier.  That deep aching need could be fulfilled.  I would feel like complete shit afterward.  But for those few minutes I would feel so much better. Personally, I could no stray from my husband.  I could not seek comfort in anyone else.  And I doubt that anyone could make me feel as safe as I do in his arms.  But it did make me understand why people do it.  And how people can do it.  In no way do I condone it, but I can see how it happens.

Anyway, on with the day.

Peter decided to use the kids Elf House.  And he brought them a gift!  Snowball makers and a block maker.

It was snowing around noon, so we went out to enjoy them.  I am trying to play with them more.  So I thought we could do this instead of me going to the AO and running.  The kids made snowballs and helped make bricks.

I worked on a fort.  I will say, this is Nate's forte.  I am not a good builder of forts.  But I did pretty good.  We only got a small one built because it started to rain.  But here are the kiddos in it!

Yes, it started to RAIN!  In December in ALASKA!  This winter is going to be crazy!  I decided when we came in that we would go to the sizzle and grab some fixings for dinner and stuff to make cookies.

We made two new recipes; Gingerbread cookies and sour cream sugar cookies.  One thing when you make these kind of cookies, you have to chill the dough before you do anything with it.  So I decided we would make the dough and eat dinner, then bathe and then finish the cookies.  It would give the kids an incentive to eat!  WRONG!  I thought it would be Spencer.  He's been, well he's been an ass all day.  Arguing with everything I say.  Doing everything he can to annoy his sister.  Getting in the dogs face.  Doing anything and everything that he knows he's not supposed to and will drive me crazy.  I almost got a bottle of Jack on the way home from the sizzle so I could take a few shots and chill the eff out.  I am seriously going crazy!

Anyway, we all sit down to dinner.  Not 1 minute later Kayleigh pushes her plate away.  I remind her that if she is choosing to be done, she will not get to make cookies (I've already told them this at least three times).  So she scoots her plate back to her and sits there.  Three or four minutes later, she looks at me and says, "May I be excused?"  I tell her of course, but if she is choosing to do that she is choosing to take a shower and go to bed and not help with cookies.  She says fine and goes.  I feel like an ass, but I have to stand my ground.  I could give in, I want to give in.  I cried because I wanted her to make cookies with us so bad.  I wanted to have fun and make memories.  Just do something together, but she chose not to.

It really upset me.  I know I need to walk a fine balance between being fun and instilling good eating habits in them.  And they simply can not eat cookies if they don't have some healthy stuff first.  I know I could let her make cookies, but not give any.  But that was not the consequence I set.  Also, we all know she'd sneak a taste test! So she went up to her room and Spencer and I made cookies.  She came down and complained about the wind a few times.  Yes, it's windy again.  And then she started crying and said that she doesn't feel like she's a part of our family.  I reminded her that she made the choice.  If she would have eaten, anything, not necessary ALL of her food, but some, she could be down here.  Spencer didn't eat everything on his plate.  I don't make them, but they do have to eat some of everything.  And she chose not to.  So she went to her room.  I went up to brush Spencer's teeth.  Something told me to check on her. So I did.  And she was reading with a flashlight!  I'm all for reading, but not when you're supposed to be in bed.  Gosh.

Anyway, I didn't take any pictures of all of us doing cookies because I was making dinner.  But I got a few shots with my phone of Spencer.

He had fun.  The cookies didn't all turn out well.  The bottoms of the ones on the cookie sheets burned, but the ones I did on the pizza stone turned out well.  I made the icing from the sugar cookie recipe and that tasted like crap.  I don't know.  Maybe it's because I only ever do cream cheese frosting, but that other stuff just tasted I sweet vanilla.  It was gross.  So that was our night.

PS.  I did freeze some dough, hopefully we can do some more cookies all together next week!  Fingers crossed!