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| The garden plan |
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
109/365
JESUS! I can't seem to catch a break. We finally made it to the Oasis this morning. We got there, I ordered Spencer's balloons for his birthday. Then I started to work out. TWO MINUTES into my warm up Kayleigh came over and started to tattle on Spencer for following her. He, in turn, started to yell at her and me. I told them I was not going to deal with this today. I told them to go get their shoes on and come sit behind my treadmill. Kayleigh did so, without complaint. Spencer yelled at me, "I don't want to. I don't have to do what you say. I am the boss." So I went and grabbed him and attempted to put his shoes on him. He fought so much, I literally had to lay on top of him to get his feet and legs still enough to put his shoes on. Then I drug him, kicking and screaming over to the treadmill so I could get my stuff. We had to leave. So I got a two minute walk in today. I guess it's progress.
Later this afternoon, we went to gymnastics. And I got a chance to plan out my garden. I think I'll try to plant this weekend. I guess we will see.
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I have no idea what to say about the kids doing this. I'm so frustrated with them giving you such a hard time. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I'm not going to say that I understand because I don't. I'm not going to say it's because I'm gone and they miss me because that's probably not it either. So I don't know. It's frustrating to me, I can't even imagine what it's like for you. I want to help you so badly and yet I can't. I want to tell you that it will be okay, but who knows if it will be. About the only thing I can say is... just hang in there. I know it's hard. I can see and read about how hard it is. I don't know how hard, but I realize that you are having an extremely rough time. Please, just hand in there a while longer. I don't want all of this to effect us or them. I know things are going to change. Hopefully not for the worst. I also realize that when I do come home that they are going to be all about me and be good because that is the luck we have. I realize that it will probably piss you off to no end when it happens. Simply because I know you want them to be good and be nice to you. I know it will probably break your heart and cause some resentment between us. I hope that we can work through it and grow stronger from this god awful experience. Just know that I am here for you if you need to talk or vent. You also have friends that are willing to help you out if I am not doing a good enough job. You can kick me in the balls when I get back for being such an asshole. I Love You! And no matter what we go through or how rough of a time we are having, I will always love you.
ReplyDeleteIn my (what you may call perfect) world today, again I nearly killed someone, ON BASE! I just don't understand what people are thinking when they see a big rig heading their way. I was going around a curve heading to Alpha site on the Prim Route loaded down with 65's. This stupid idiot sees me coming and just keeps on going about his way. I slam on my breaks AGAIN and lay on the air horn, and miss running him over with the trailer by about one and half feet. On that part of the road, I have to be watching each mirror because if the trailer goes to far to the right side of the road it falls down about a 50 degree slope. I have to watch the other mirror to make sure I'm not hitting the guardrail on the other side that guards cars parked in a lot. I was looking in the mirror making sure I was going to fall off the slope when I turned around and see this guy hauling ass past me. WTF are people thinking? Anyways, that was the worst part of my day. Granted it was nothing like yours, but still stressful.
Well Babe, I will always hope that your next day treats you better. I want you to have good days. I know it's up to the kids whether you do or not, but still, I want you have good days. Know that I Love You Very Much and I can't wait to see and hold you again. If it's not too much to ask, would you please give the kids a hug and kiss for me and tell them I love them very much? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!