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Last night I went to dinner and a movie with some of the ladies from the Cul de sac.  Stacey planned it because she felt bad that I babysat her kids on my birthday last weekend (so her and Chris could go to the AF Ball).  Anyway, we went to the Moose's Tooth.  Of course the wait was horrendous.  But the food was good.  Then we went and saw Contagion.  Not a movie I recommend.  It was like watching the news for 2 hours.  BOR-ING!  But I did have a good time talking to all the other ladies.  We got home quite late, midnight.  Of course Kayleigh was still up, but Spencer was passed out.  This morning when I went to wake him up (of course Kayleigh was up before me too!) he looked at me and told me he needed more rest and pulled the covers over his head!  Finally at 1030 I had to go up and get him.

I started the day out good.  I watched last nights game that I DVR'd.  It was good.  A bit boring because honestly Oregon ran over Arizona.  But thankfully for the DVR, I just fast forward through the boring parts.  The kids went and played outside until we had to go to the commissary.  Then we came home and they played outside some more. 

I mowed the lawn in the back.  I really don't mind mowing the lawn, but I am ready for the grass to die so I don't have to do it anymore.  The lawnmower is on it's last leg and I don't want to buy another one right now.  It doesn't shoot grass into the bag anymore and I broke that handle that you have to hold up to keep it running.  So for the moment I have it jerry-rigged.  It isn't pretty.  I didn't even do the front.  It doesn't grow as fast as the back.  I think I'm just going to get rid of the mower and pay some kid to mow the lawn for me.  After all isn't that what FSA is supposed to be for anyway.  Aurora Housing also is supposed to come by once a month and mow your grass for you if your husband is deployed, but you have to request it.  I may just call them up and ask.  I'm sure we don't qualify since Nate is in Korea and not "deployed", that seems to be my luck.

After mowing the lawn it was baking time!  I am sending Nate a care package tomorrow so I needed stuff to fill the box and baked goods it what I came up with.  I was going to do 3 different things.  But I got really tired of baking.  It sucks doing it alone.  Kayleigh used to like to bake with me, but now she'd rather play with her friends.  So I did some more of those cookies I did earlier this week, but this time I added pecans.  Then I made THESE.  Of course I can't do the icing to send, so he's on his own in that department.  But instead of cupcakes I tried to do the cake in the jar.  It sort of worked.  I took a picture to show Stacey how it looked (she had asked me) and it looks alright there.

But once I got it out of the oven, it shrank.  It shrank down VERY far!  So far that I knew if I put the lid on and sent it, it would be pulverized before it got to California.  So I crammed a couple of cupcakes in there too.  I don't k now if it is going to work out, but I guess  I will find out in a week or so.

I wanted to clean a lot today, but never got around to it.  Oh well, I have tomorrow and the next day to clean.  Really, the cleaning isn't going anywhere.  I feel like I can't get into the groove lately.  I know it will happen, but right now I am letting a lot slide and I need to get on top of it. 

Today I was talking to Beckah and she was saying that she was sorry about what happened yesterday and she wishes we were closer.  She also asked if I had anyone else I can depend on.  I told her the truth.  Not really.  I know if I really needed something I could go next door or ask any of the neighbors and they would help me.  But it would take a lot for that to happen.  Spencer is now in preschool (thanks babe for paying for it!!) and Kayleigh is of course in school.  So I get a nice chunk of time to myself and to get appointments and other things done.  So I really don't think I will need anything.  She said that it's good to be independent.  And I agree.  But for some reason I can't be dependent.  I can't wait on people to help me do things.  Or to do things for me.  I just wonder why that is.  I would 100x rather do something myself then ask anyone.  It got me thinking, should I maybe be more dependent?  Should I ask for help more often?  But maybe too much independence is just as bad as too much dependence.

I guess I was just made from a different mold.  Last night at dinner all the other women were amazed at my "purse" (aka wallet with a space for my phone).  They all asked why I didn't carry a bigger one.  I just don't need it.  I don't need to have diapers or wipes.  I keep all necessities (hand sanitizer, extra gloves and hats, tissue, medication, bandaids etc) in the car.  I don't see the need to lug a huge bag full of crap into the store.  Usually if I have a huge purse my wallet and phone are in it.  That and a bunch of receipts.  I personally don't need a purse, my wallet works just fine for me.  I don't dress up.  I don't buy things that I don't really need or won't get A LOT of use out of.  I don't shop.  I don't like to shop.  I like to workout and be outside.  I like to build things and get my hands dirty.  I guess I'm not "normal" and I really felt it last night when they all grilled me on the things I do.  They weren't mean about it.  I think they were just interested.  Maybe they hadn't met anyone like me.  I don't know.  One of the ladies even said to me, "So you're just really simple?"  I know she didn't mean anything by it.  But maybe that's it, I'm simple.  I never thought of myself that way.  But I don't need much.  So I guess it's true.  I am simple.  Maybe that's something to mull over for a bit.