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Today was good.  I still don't feel 100%.  But this morning was easy.

Spencer had to wear a tie to school today!

I let Kayleigh be hot lunch so I didn't have to make her lunch.  Just one day of hot lunch really makes the morning a lot easier.  Then she and I took Spencer to school.  She's been having a hard time so I thought that I could take her to school and we could talk on the way.  Make her feel a little extra special.  On the way to her school from Spencer's she said, "Mom, it's OK if you want to stop at the shopette and get a coffee. We have time."  It was too funny.  I know she said it because she knows if I get coffee I will get a doughnut.  But what she doesn't know is that was my play all along.  We split a doughnut and chatted while we drove to school.  Then she asked me to walk in with her.  Of course I did.  She held my hand the entire way.  And she was yelling "Hi" to all her friends, like she wanted to show them that I was there with her.  There was another little girl who didn't want her mom to come with her.  She was embarassed.  But not Kayleigh.  It made me so happy that she was so proud to strut in there holding my hand.  I know that will all be a thing of the past soon, but for today it was amazing!

After dropping her off I had some errands to run.  I went and dropped of payment for Kayleigh's dance class.  Then I had to buy the high maintenance dog her dog food.  I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to see what they had for rugs.  Nothing I liked, but I did get a couple of candles.  The Target to get a present for a birthday party we are going to tomorrow night (no not my own ;) ).  I found a rug there that I liked for the dining room.  It was on clearance (of course), marked down to $44 from $175.  I figured if I hate it I could just put it in our bedroom.  There were two, so I might go back and get the second one for our bedroom.  Now all that's left is a rug for the living room and a runner for the hall.  And a rug for in front of the back door and.....

THE RUG

Kayleigh also had her GS kick off party.  It was a Renaissance theme.  It was really cute.  Poorly organized, but cute.  The lady who runs it all said they didn't have enough volunteers.  But I asked Mrs Flight Chief if they had asked the troop leaders for volunteers to run the booths.  She said they never asked.  I am sure that if they had asked parents would have stepped forward.  I know I would have.

The girls had a great time.  The made crowns.

They played a game called Dragon and Knight.  Where one girl (the dragon) is blind folded and tries to catch the knight by sound only.

Kayleigh was the dragon

They made a troop shield

They threw a ball into a hole

Watched magicians

They saw a fortune teller, learned a dance and shot a bow and arrow.

We saw Amber, Lexi, Justin and Caden.  Kayleigh really misses Lexi.  When they saw each other they ran and hugged.  It was so cute!  Amber seems to be doing great.  She looks fabulous.  I almost didn't recognize her she is so skinny.  I wonder if other people see that in me?  She really is urging me to do the 10k next weekend.  I think it's great that she can still be so positive and encouraging toward me.  I just hope I come across the same way.  I do miss her. 

I made a comment to her on DM today.  But it's not there anymore.  I wonder if DM ate it or she deleted it?  I don't even know why I stress and worry about these things.  But it's so hard sometimes to accepct someone not liking you.  I've come a long way in the past year in figuring out who I am and being ok with it.  But there are still some areas where my confidence lacks.  And I think finding good friends is one of them.  I wonder if people truly like me.  Or if they are just polite.  Like tonight Amber and I talked for a minute.  She was nice and seemed good.  But I wonder it that is just politeness.  I don't know.  I worry too much and think too much. 

I do at least know one person in this world who likes me, no matter what stupid stuff I do.  I guess that is what matters most.  Having that one person who will always be there, no matter what.  Too bad my person is half a world away right now.  I really miss him too!