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A few days ago I asked a friend of mine, who had had a tummy tuck a few years ago, if I could see her stomach.  No, I'm not a perv wanting to check out other chicks stomachs.  I just really want to weigh my options, to see which is worse; big giant scar + major abdominal surgery or nasty C-Section flap.  Anyway, back to the point of the story.  My friend sent me a text of her stomach, including scar, since we haven't seen each other much lately.

Her stomach does look good.  It is flat.  And her belly button is cute, not in the shape of a sad face like mine.  But she does have a giant scar.  It's not that bad.  But it is there.  And it is huge.  So nasty flap would be replaced by big scar.  It makes me wonder if a big scar would make me feel as self conscious as the nasty flap.  Why oh why can't I have good genes that equal no stretch marks and a flat tummy?

All of this got me thinking.  I decided that if she could send me a picture of her stomach and I could objectively view it.  Then maybe if I took some more pictures that focused on my problem area (not the kind of pictures I send to Nate while he is away that re-started this whole thing) I could objectively look them and maybe figure out what I want to do.  And if she could send those pictures to me in a text, I could post them here.  Number one, to show everyone what I mean.  And number two to convince those who have not had kid to not do it!!!!  LOL  No seriously, maybe it would give me a little more confidence to put it all out there.

So here we go...

**WARNING** 

If you do not want to see pictures of me without a shirt on and nasty flap I suggest you stop reading here!

OK, we'll start with the bad ones. 

There it is, from a distance.  It just hangs there.  It should be flat and I hate it.
And here is a close up...

The stretch marks I can live with, nothing a little self tanner won't cure ;) But my belly button looks so sad, as it should be.  It used to look like a nice little O.  I want that back!

Now for the side shots.

You can see that if I wear low rise jeans it hangs over.  Not exactly flattering.  And when my pants go over my scar I can see the flap through them.  I wonder if I only see it because I know it's there or if other people can see it.  Obviously no one will tell me the truth on that one.  It's times like this that makes you wish you could read minds.

Close up it's really not that bad.  Or at least as bad as I thought.

Now on to my positive for the day.  When I pull my pants up to where they should be I look good.  I theoretically could be one of those chicks who go to the gym and only wear a sports bra.  Not that I am going to do that, but I've seen people who look worse do it.  So I could get away with it.

Side view with pants up.  You can't even tell.  Like I said a few days ago; I look great until my belly button.

Here I am from the front, not to shabby if I do say so myself!

So, I haven't made any decisions today.  I likely won't for a while.  But all of this did make me realize that it's  not AS bad as I thought.  It's still not pretty.  And forget about pictures in any other position than standing up straight.  That is where my problem lies, bend over or sit down or anything else and it's not so pretty.  Anyway, I think I will continue to try to lose a few more pounds and lift weights more often.  I would like to get down to 130ish.  I will reevaluate after a while and see where I stand.

This post makes me feel like I am fishing for compliments.  I feel really weird writing it and posting pictures.  So I will add another disclaimer.  For the record this is not a post fishing for compliments.  A few days ago a said I wished I could post these kinds of pictures, but was a chicken shit.  I was inspired today.  So I did it.  Please do not think I am an attention whore.  I am not.  Thank you.

Onto the rest of my day.  We went to the Oasis.  I got in a cardio workout.  I HATE running.  I wonder if I will ever like it again.  I think when Nate is here I will try running outside and see if I like it any more.  But I did get to slam some weights.  That felt good!  I love weight lifting.  I love working my muscles until they can not work anymore.  After I am done here and put the kids to bed I may do a yoga video.

Other than that we hung around here and didn't do much, as it was raining, again.

Last, but not least today's positive thought.

I do look pretty damn good without my shirt on.  I've had three babies and my body shows that, but its ok.  I am pretty happy with where I am right now.  And I am proud of myself.